just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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