A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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