as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
