So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
