Your tits are I can't wait for
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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