i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
