Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's official drugs can't kill me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
