4 words: hood of his car
Everything about him screamed your future.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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