One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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