I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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