My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
