Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
