The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
