did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
