i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
