okay pat passed out under dana's car
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
