I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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