There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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