Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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