dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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