I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
