I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
