stop calling my apartment porn island.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i dont even know how to be here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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