The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
