Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
