found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
