omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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