I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
