I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
