I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
