Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
