i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You ate ashes out of my bong
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
