"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
