I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Too much gin, very little bucket
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
