all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
