scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
