It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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