I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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