Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
