Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
