8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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