I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
