Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
