i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
