apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
