That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
