hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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