I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
