guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
