My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
